I am a messy, uni-lingual, Anti domestic goddess who can’t cook to save herself and yells at the children too much. I am also sadly, a ‘Yes’ person.
Of course this means when my German husband’s cousin asks if he and his mate (who doesn’t speak any English and has severe diabetes) can come and stay with us for a week or two while they are in Australia, I say ‘Sure, no problem!’.
Sure, no problem. Except that one of you is likely to leave in a diabetic coma cause I have Zero idea of the dietry requirements of a diabetic, and that’s only if the food poisoning from my poor cooking skills doesn’t get you first. My husband and children will be ok as they are used to it, eating at my place is kind of like drinking the water in Bali, you can only do it if you are a local.
The husband has managed to take some time off from his day job and plans to put our visitors to work like slaves, something about digging trenches for the duck coop and chopping firewood.. I’m not really convinced that digging into rock hard clay with a pick axe is the way they will want to spend their holiday.
So while I am rather amused and slightly turned on by the fact that my husband can chat merrily away to people in a foreign language, I am left playing charades for 'do you want a coffee?' and it brings me to the age old question:
What does one do with two non English speaking, 30 something year old German men in the middle of the bush?
Below are a few simple ideas I have to keep them occupied:
#1) Send them into the bush with the kids to look for Koalas – We don’t get them around here, but they don’t know that and as a bonus it gets the kids out of our hair for a bit!
#2) Give them some shovels and tell them there are Opals about 1.5M down coincidentaly in the same spot where the new duck pond is going...
#3) Let them have fun on the farm with a turn on the tractor! That way they can slash the bottom paddock for us while Hubby & I relax and drink cocktails by the dam.
#4) Give them vegemite on toast and photograph their facial expressions.
If all else fails, I guess we can always send them off to the pub – With half the locals boycotting it I’m sure the pub could use their business and with them being German, I’m sure they could use the beer.
What would you do with a house full of Germans for two weeks? How would you cope?