School concerts: the place where you are forced to sit in an uncomfortable plastic fold away chair, smiling and clapping like you mean it, when really you would rather be waiting at the dentists’ office to get a tooth pulled. At least the dentist has the decency to put a plasma on the ceiling to take your mind off the excruciating pain.
So it’s that time of year again and all 15 students in the senior half of the primary school have been making their way by little white bus to and from little big smoke all term to practice with the other small country schools. Together they are going to perform a stunning rendition of The Lion King that us parents are welcome to attend just so long as we fork out the $5 per person
sucker entry fee.
To help the children practice during the holidays, we were lucky enough to be given a CD containing all 300,000 of the songs they will be singing on the night. As the smirking teachers handed them over to us parents they reaffirmed in front of the kids that the true beauty of these CDs is that they are quite portable and can be played not only at home, but even to pass the time quicker in the car while you are travelling the 80km round trip to soccer every Saturday. How kind.
While Buzz is a talented young man in many fields, unfortunately singing isn’t one of them, and these weekend trips to soccer with a tone deaf son? There is nothing Hakuna Matata about them. But despite my whinging I can honestly tell you I am looking forward to the concert.
It’s a chance to watch my son perform proudly in front of a large bunch of proud smiling parents even if they are hopped up on Zanex and secretly swilling whisky from their plastic water bottles. I get to take a million photos of him basking in his glory to be put in the album and treasured forever, but best of all when we get home I can snap that damn CD into little tiny pieces and burn them in the fire.
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