Friday, 29 July 2011

Hell, The Musical

School concerts: the place where you are forced to sit in an uncomfortable plastic fold away chair, smiling and clapping like you mean it, when really you would rather be waiting at the dentists’ office to get a tooth pulled. At least the dentist has the decency to put a plasma on the ceiling to take your mind off the excruciating pain.
So it’s that time of year again and all 15 students in the senior half of the primary school have been making their way by little white bus to and from little big smoke all term to practice with the other small country schools. Together they are going to perform a stunning rendition of The Lion King that us parents are welcome to attend just so long as we fork out the $5 per person sucker entry fee.
To help the children practice during the holidays, we were lucky enough to be given a CD containing all 300,000 of the songs they will be singing on the night. As the smirking teachers handed them over to us parents they reaffirmed in front of the kids that the true beauty of these CDs is that they are quite portable and can be played not only at home, but even to pass the time quicker in the car while you are travelling the 80km round trip to soccer every Saturday. How kind.
 While Buzz is a talented young man in many fields, unfortunately singing isn’t one of them, and these weekend trips to soccer with a tone deaf son? There is nothing Hakuna Matata about them. But despite my whinging I can honestly tell you I am looking forward to the concert.
 It’s a chance to watch my son perform proudly in front of a large bunch of proud smiling parents even if they are hopped up on Zanex and secretly swilling whisky from their plastic water bottles.  I get to take a million photos of him basking in his glory to be put in the album and treasured forever, but best of all when we get home I can snap that damn CD into little tiny pieces and burn them in the fire.
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Alex aka WHOA MUMMA! said...

Ballet school recitals are worse. Two hours of unco kids plonking along to tinny, piano music.

One year they had the senior girls dancing. One of the girls had the biggest boobs I'd ever seen and while she pirouetted around the stage her boobs bounced up and down. My husband and I had to leave the hall because we were laughing so hard. Mature, I know.

E. said...

School and other concerts are very ... interesting. I remember when Girl was in her first (preschool) end of year concert. I turned to Mr E. And said Only 12 more years of these to go!

Actually I don't really dislike them. But I really get upset when other parents watch their kids and then talk all the way through everyone else's.

I hope all the kids have fun performing. I can so understand the distraction of the CD.

E. said...

That was supposed to be destruction. But it's probably been very distracting too.

joeh said...

Listenung to my 8 yr old practicing the first ten notes of "Smoke On THe Water" on guitarmturned me off music for three years. Oh the Humanity!!

thanks for bringing back some memories! You are spot on.

The Cranky Old Man

Red Nomad OZ said...

Hahaha! So sorry to laugh at your misfortune - but it's your own fault for making it so comical! But what will you do if your child wants to keep the CD???

•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Trish.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• said...

I guess I have this to look forward to ...all the joy rests with you right now and of course your children will make you proud as ever.