Tuesday, 12 July 2011

The Gift Of Life

I am one of the lucky ones. I have had 4 pregnancies which resulted in 4 healthy babies. I never had to ‘try’ for a baby, they happened. First time, every time. It just worked.
Sadly, for so many people this isn’t the case. Disappointment comes in many forms, from the initial negative test result then month by month having the stress of trying harder and harder and then investing so many emotions into medical help only to be told that there is simply no hope after all.
It’s not going to happen.
There is someone in my family who has been feeling this disappointment for years, while family members and friends all around her give birth with gay abandon she has stood by, smiled and congratulated and been part of the joy, the whole time not sharing her secret pain.
She came to us recently, as the jestful teasing from family members about settling down, now they are married and having kids like the rest of us must have finally become too hard to bear, she and her husband told us of their secret battle with infertility. We didn’t even know they had started trying.
So the next step is one final attempt at IVF, but as so far they have been unable to pass the first stage of creating an embryo they don’t hold much hope. We spoke about alternatives should this fail and I have since done some research into egg donation, there are a number of hoops to jump through, implications counselling, genetic testing etc, but providing I fit the IVF Australia criteria I will be happy to donate my eggs to them.
Nothing is quite like seeing your newborn baby for the first time. Everyone deserves to cradle that amazing being in their arms, breath its’ sent and feel its heart beat. It is a true miracle.
 Sadly we are not all blessed with the ability to have children. I hope that if it's required I will be able to help them conceive so they too can hold in their hands the incredible gift that is life.


Janelle said...

Wow, that is a wonderful thing to be willing to do for another. You are right though, everyone should be able to experience the joy of holding your new child and going through the whole adventure of pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting (even though sometimes 'joy' might not be the right word to describe it!). Good on you, and good luck to all of you!

E. said...

What an amazing thing to even consider. I do hope that your family members get to hold a baby in their arms somehow.

I can imagine it's heartbreaking to watch so many families multiply while your greatest wish doesn't materialise.

Good Luck to them and you (if your assiatance is needed).

Being Me said...

Good on you for being so willing to offer, that is wonderful. We did the whole infertility/struggle/recurrent miscarriage journey too, mostly in a shroud of secrecy - although I did keep some in the family abreast of things, very loosely, along the way. And had offers of surrogacy/egg donor too, but the egg thing wasn't the issue (so, therefore, not necessary for us). Also had offers of sperm... ahh, hmm...! Strange what some find funny to joke about!
It's a very difficult thing, for all parties. Love and understanding will see you through :) Best of luck to your loved ones.

Gemma @ My Big Nutshell said...

Wow, that truly is a selfless gift. i can't imagine their pain, seeing all these lovely babies and how it must have felt on the inside, then trying to show a different emotion on the outside.

Toushka Lee said...

I hope you are able to do that for them and that it works and they can have that gift that some of us come by so easily.

Seana Smith said...

I hope you can help and that they will have a baby to love and care for. I'm like you, have four children and all pregnancies were not traumatic at all. I did have some miscarriages but after the first two sons and I was older and didn't feel too devastated by them. And got the twins afterwards to make up for it!

Fertility has been a great gift and I am truly grateful. Fingers crossed.

•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Trish.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• said...

Having struggled with infertility for many years, then a natural miracle pregnancy which ended in pour daughter being stillborn we tried IVF.
We initially kept our IVF journey a secret.
We were blessed with twins (just turned 5) one year to the day that I started the IVF injectible medications.
I hope your family will hope a baby of their own one day. I feel all teary thinking about them.

What an amazing gift you might offer them.