Thursday, 27 October 2011

My Secret Life as a 'Stuff ' Whore


Well I probably shouldn’t post about this sort of thing as not only will it block my inbox with spam, but husbands everywhere might become aware of the little secret many wives are hiding from them.
The art of getting what we want out of our marriages, aside from love and happiness of course.  
They always say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but unfortunately I was not blessed in the ability to cook department so I have to fall back on my other talents, and I discovered the sure fire way to win any argument or convince the need of any purchase.
Sexual favours.
The degree of the favour has a direct impact on the size of the request, and I can’t stress the importance of pretending to dislike certain things more than you really do and holding them back accordingly, or you will have nowhere left to go when it’s time to call in the big guns.
Also a little internet research can really help improve your technique and thus make your trade-offs more valuable. This little tactic has gotten me everything from plants for the garden to a new car and a new kitchen.  
Yes, I’m a stuff whore. Sure it’s not exactly romantic, but hey, it hurts nobody - a win-win situation really, and by the time your other half cottons on to what is really going on, it is too late. Their needs are too great and all of a sudden you lie down to go to sleep one night and you get asked if you want to get that new Thermomix you have been eyeing off...
Game On.
10 yrs on, The Husband seems to have finally figured out a way to get back on top, so to speak.
 He has learned to frequently argue my opinions for no reason at all when I am obviously right, such as when I say the new clothes line needs to go in a certain spot because it is the most asthetic and practical place for it, but he says “nope its gotta go over there” which is right in full view of half the windows of the house and in the shade where nothing will ever dry.
 He then refuses to install said clothes line unless it goes where HE wants it until I start my little game with him and he is “convinced”.
Now I am the one being played.
In fact sadly for me, while we are renovating and I am the one with the particular wants in design and colour scheme and he is the one with the skills to achieve my dreams, he pretty much has me by my metaphorical balls and he knows it.
But I don’t really mind, I get my way – he gets his and after many years of marriage and 4 kids we still have an awesome sex life.
So admit it, are you a stuff whore too?

4 comments:

alliecat said...

Aahh, no, as it's usually me doing the bedroom requesting, but perhaps I should start, as you seem to be doing quite well out of it!

E. said...

That's so funny. Now just make sure he never reads this or you will never get the renos done.

For the record, I don't like stuff that much. Although I'm sure there could be bartering involved for certain tasks around the house happening.

Erin @ Eat Play Bond said...

Hahaha! I am sure hubby is so concerned with where the clothesline goes because he uses it so often.

It can be quite an effective tool for us though and I agree - its really win-win!

Suzi said...

Lol, yes Allie, i have done quite well on it but E your right, I hope he never reads this too!
Erin- it seems to be quite a common bartering tool I think :)