Building Bridges

Last week I built a bridge, and got over it. Literally.

A made in China E-bay special, It is a long awaited and essential part of my Fairy Garden Project, After finally bidding and getting a super bargain price, my bridge arrived on Friday and The Husband said he would put it together for me on Saturday.
But being the impatient type, I didn't want to wait 24 whole hours so I decided as a capable women there was no reason why I couldn't just do it myself!

So I dragged the heavy box inside and set up in the lounge room, put the TV on for the Princess and opened the box:

 A begillion small pieces of timber, 8 bolts, 8 nuts, 16 washers and196 small black screws.
Deep breath, yup I can do this...

Now The Husband is a chippie by trade and has an assortment of power tools including a power screw driver thingy, but of course he takes these tools to work with him, so I was left with the option either doing up 196 small screws by hand or waiting until Saturday for him to do it.

Did I mention I'm impatient?

I got out the trusty Phillips head set up in the lounge room and started screwing, I screwed for hours, so hard in fact that at times I thought my hand would fall off. I only interrupted by shouts of "Delicious Arsehole!" and "Grassy Ass" from The Princess who would have benefited from a little more speech therapy and annunciation practise before undertaking Dora The Explorers informal Spanish classes.

Suddenly there was a knock at the lounge room window - I have a kilometre long driveway and a big dog so people don't usually get to the house without me noticing, to make matters worse it was the septic service guy, now he is a lovely bloke but he is a dead ringer for Orsen Hodges from desperate housewives and I didn't realise he was coming today so he scared the bejesus out of me and... well... I screamed.

Once I regained composure Orson's double informed me that all was well with the septic which he had already checked while I was busy screwing in the lounge room and I parted with $100 for his trouble. Back to the task at hand I continued on blisters and all until I finally had something that resembled half a bridge:

Note my so called guard dog asleep in the background...

All I had to do was screw the final panels into place and it was complete, a beautiful quaint little bridge perfect for a fairy garden! OK who am I kidding the last piece didn't fit.

Of course it didn't.

So I lugged it outside and positioned it in the work-in-progress fairy garden anyway and waited for The Husband to come home so I could tell him how awesome he is and beg him to cut it to size and make it work. Which he did, because he's awesome.



But not before telling me that my bargain 'ceder' bridge was in fact dodgy pine and would be lucky to last the winter, then he used his cordless screw driver thingy to screw in the screws I couldn't get down all the way and he informed me with a slightly evil grin that it was in the garage the whole time as that's where it lives and he takes a different one to work.

Of course he does.

Have you built a bridge recently?

Are you as impatient as me?

Do you buy dodgy crap on E-bay all the time too?