How many telstra employees does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: Im sorry, I can't answer that question, Hold please and I will transfer you to the correct department...

Update on my little telecommunications saga - I HAVE PHONE SERVICE AGAIN!! (touch wood)
Trevor never did show up - he may indeed have gone back to prison. Instead a very lovely older gentleman who I will call Peter, came and determined the problem and (get this!) FIXED IT!

It turns out thrifty old Jack who used to live here must have accidently dug through the phone cable at some point and then taken the liberty to fix it again all by himself and avoid paying someone to come out bush and re connect it properly. The downside being that everytime it rained the wires would get wet and short out.

This is what it looked like:

electrical tape won't fix everything...

So now I have these two fancy looking orange star-pickets on the edge of my driveway to mark where the cable is too shallow and will eventually need to be dug in to regulation depth.

Peter admitted that although there has been a work order placed to do said repairs it could quite possibly take 2 years or never actually happen so in the mean time it might be an idea to add some decorations to the star pickets and jazz them up a bit.

I took his advice:




After- A Work of Art!

Before - Boring:







So now that I am able to make phone calls again I will call the aforementioned telecommunications company and tell them I am under NO circumstances paying the bill they just sent me for the last month with no service. If they don't accept my terms I will put them on Hold and divert them to my mobile and back to the home phone... And repeat.