On Monday I had my first IVF appointment, I was nervous and
excited as I drove into the big smoke wondering what was going to greet me when
I arrived. I thought about how my SIL and BIL must have felt when they first
embarked on this journey so full of hope and excitement which would decrease
with each subsequent appointment until they were eventually told that as a couple
there was no more treatments for their infertility.
I never had to worry about any of this, quite the opposite
actually. I remember sitting on the toilet age 17 clutching the pregnancy test
in my hands tears rolling down my cheeks looking at the two lines staring forcefully
at me and thinking “Oh my God”. I also vividly remember sitting in that
abortion clinic for a ‘chat’ with the clinic nurse and feeling physically sick after
hearing her graphic description of the procedure.
I remember walking
out those doors shit scared but with a new sense of purpose knowing that I was not
under any circumstance going to return to that place and that despite the odds
and hard road ahead I was in fact going to become a mother.
I remember that feeling of combined pure joy and absolute
terror as I clutched my baby boy for the first time thinking ‘I am totally
responsible for this life a real human being, its existence, its growth, its
emotional well being and its future all depend on my actions’. It was a surreal
moment.
Now as my baby is fast approaching ‘double figures’ I drive
into the big smoke praying desperately that I can help two people that are
young, healthy and very much in love create the family they have worked so hard
for. The countless pregnancy tests SIL has taken and the gutted feeling of sitting
on the toilet, tears rolling down cheeks because for her there is only ever one
line.
I arrived at the Fertility Specialists private rooms and was
met by the smiling and equally nervous faces of my SIL and her husband. We made
our way up a narrow flight of stairs and long corridor to the office. As we
entered we were greeted by the receptionists smiling face and I filled out the
usual forms while we waited for the Fertility Specialist (FS).
Finally the door to her office opened and the FS walked out
and ushered me in, she is a tall lady with a friendly demeanour and I felt
instantly comfortable. She asked me a bunch of questions about my cycle, past
medical history, past pregnancies and my lifestyle. When she had finished she
gave me a big smile and said I was the poster child for egg donation.
She then invited my SIL & BIL into the room and she discussed
genetics, hormone injections and went over the egg collection procedure in
detail and she told what was to happen now.
Basically for those interested, we need to coordinate our cycles (by way
of the pill) and I need to have an internal ultrasound called a ‘baseline for
fertility’ as well as a stack of blood tests to check hormone levels, STDs, and
potential vitamin deficiencies. Then all going well we will start the actual IVF
cycle in 5 weeks time.
We collected our scripts and my referrals thanked the FS and
headed over to the Fertility Clinic to book in our appointments for the mandatory
counselling – We need three sessions -one for The Husband and I, one for my BIL
and SIL and one with all of us together.
We also booked in the ‘Nurse Chat’ which is where they will
teach me how to use the different medications I will need to inject into myself
daily for approx two weeks before egg collection.
We left excited and with the “We’re going to make a baby!” buzz.
It was funny because although the circumstances are far from normal, it doesn’t
feel weird at all.
4 comments:
I've never suffered from infertility (like you, quite the opposite!) but this post made me feel so emotional!
I think what you're doing in such a beautiful thing and I wish you and your SIL only the best on the journey you're starting. Xx
Wow! That's fantastic. That is such an amazingly special gift. I have also been very fertile, but I have a dear friend who is not. As a couple they struggled and after 8 years finally held their baby boy in their arms this year. We didn't need to intervene ... although we offered to ... husband offered his sperm. It was nice to be able to offer even though they moved forward without it. I am in awe of you right now.
Glad it went well. How exciting for you all.
Hey Suzi you are the Awesomes but that was obvious already lad you have a positive start.
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